Life through transformation
The word transformation itself brings up all kinds of images for me. The one that keeps coming back is that of a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. To me, that is the ultimate transformation. So what does that look like in my life?
I have gone through many transformations in my life and have learned a lot about the process of it. Unlike a caterpillar,
I am usually not alone during my transformation. Learning to navigate through all my internal and external changes has been a lifelong way of being. Taking on a journey of transformation with my ‘people’ has given me even more knowledge of myself.
I have learned that time is always my friend even when I hate to wait. I have developed techniques that allow me to tame that impatient part of myself and even enjoy the journey.
I have also learned to keep moving, in tiny little steps towards where I am going, even when all seems lost. Those little steps that create movement will always create a transformation towards a greater place.
The greater place that I am describing is usually an internal place. A place inside of myself that has shed an old skin and let the new one reveal itself, with time. I cannot force this new skin to reveal itself. Getting upset, uptight and angry about it, only hurts me and can sometimes take me backwards. Believe me; I have tried to force the progress. It never works.
Shedding old skins that reveal a new one creates a better understanding of myself. A lighter, less weighed down version of me. This new version of me is like a new part of myself, a new ‘skin’. It requires some adjustment on my part, some compassion for myself to allow the space and time for this trying time. Like the caterpillar becoming a butterfly, there needs to be some time spent in the cocoon and nothing can rush the transformation and the steps to becoming a butterfly.
During those periods, I observe myself more in my daily life. I pay attention to what is being reflected back to me. I allow myself more walks by myself, more quiet times, more time to do the things that look and feel like me. I allow myself to thoroughly enjoy my ‘me’ moments. I savor every little piece of those moments so that I feel rejuvenated, recharged and ready to try on the new ‘skin’ at whatever level this transformation is.
I have learned to recognize my own patterns through these. I know how my body reacts when I can’t take it anymore. I recognize emotions that I am going through. I have developed my way of dealing with the constant transformation happening in my life and now I can enjoy the ride.
I have my moments where the tissue box in my best friend, I even have very vigorous walks with my dog and yes I eat a lot more while going through a transformation but I wouldn’t change a single thing.
Although these transformations have pushed me well out of my comfort range, I would not be myself if I did not keep striving for a deeper knowledge, understanding and connection with myself. The only way that I have found to be able to do that is through self transformation.
In the next article, I’ll write about the impact on the surrounding, on those people that share my life.